Mathematics defeats nature

Aug 31, 2010

I have done it!

Done what? Mathematically proved that the reason we grow is not down to nature, not down to physics, not even down to biology or chemistry… but down to pure mathematics.

As shown in the simplified calculations and diagram below you can see that a normal person laying down in a north-south orientation at a position on earth of 51ยฐ (approximately my home) will grow at a rate of 200 metres a year!!

How is it that this happens?

Simple. Based on the rotation of the earth, you will physically travel further the nearer to the equator you are positioned. So according to my calculations if you are laying with your head north and your feet south they will be approximately at a distance of 0.000001 degrees apart. Therefore your feet will travel roughly 200m further than your head. So logic states that you must be stretched by that amount each year.

Obviously this assumes that you stay in this position for the whole year and do not stand up or change your orientation to an east-west position ๐Ÿ™‚

Why we grow

Mathematical proof!

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Digital cryptography

Jun 16, 2010
After reading Digital Fortress by Dan Brown I was inspired to try my own simple cryptography. So I wrote a simple encryption script that uses Quark Xpress to encode the text.

Cs!zpu”cbo!sge!uiiu ufyt”it!ruktf!cotioh!apd!jonqcvpvs”aoe!iu jo!nq xbz c ijedgn!qmov up!kklm!uhg qsfskdfou cne!uame!pwet uif yosme,”eud/ Duu!jf”ypv!mcnbhf vo!efcqdf!jt”I!xpund!mjkg up!kpox/!Pnebtf ueoe!ap fnbin up!tkmAtqaeeqfogwio/do0ul!uhct!sfafs;!J erbdlef zpvr”cpef duu!J yimm!nqt!cf elbjnipg!b!mcrt!cat bt!a”psj{e0 Kvtt”sp!uhct!nz eusjpuuiuz!iu gvmfklmfe.”Tibok”ypv/

Have Fun, 16th June 2010.


Do Androids Dream of Ceefax

May 27, 2010

After years of not quite getting round to it, I have finally read Philip K. Dick – Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep โ€“ Don’t worry if you have not read it, there are no spoilers here.

Something funny struck me. The Penfield Mood Organ, which has a selection of moods you can dial up, has a setting called โ€œThe desire to watch TV no matter whatโ€™s on itโ€. And the number for this mood? 888 – the old Ceefax number for subtitles. I wonder if this is coincidence or significant? Did the organisers of Ceefax has a sense of humour? I doubt anybody will ever know but it did make me chuckle to myself.


Global Epidemics: The facts

Apr 28, 2009

With the whole world going crazy over the latest global disease outbreak, swineflu, it is important that we remain aware of other diseases that can easily be overlooked at times like this.

This article focusses on the little known virus Spacepenguinflu.

Where did it start?

It’s origins are a little sketchy but it is believed to have started sometime around the year 2000 in a small community called AMP but being highly contagious it did not take long to become global with cases observed in England and Wales, New Zealand, Texas, New York, Norway, Australia and Germany with unconfirmed reports coming in from other parts of the US and Canada.

What are the symptoms?

The most obvious symptom is inane and sometimes incoherent babbling. The infected individual does not appear to have any control over the direction of their thoughts. They may start off talking quite sensibly about the current conversation but before they know it they are making comments about totally random things like sporks, smeef minkies or monkogs, and saying things like “woog”.

How does the disease spread?

This is a total mystery. Although very contagious it does not appear to spread via physical contact. As observed from the initial outbreak, most of the infected did not physically meet patient-zero and had very limited contact with each other.

Is there a cure?

Unfortunately no, although symptoms do tend to become less severe with age. There are, however, a few things that can be done to assist the infected individual.

  1. Sparkly Molkos – This little known drink has quite a profound effect and reduces the babbling to short sentences, usually monosyllabic.
  2. Hugs – The infected respond well to physical comfort and bonding of this sort also appears to slow down the spread of the disease.
  3. Venting/Ranting – The infected should be encouraged as much as reasonably possible to vent their anger about all and any irritations, no matter how small or seemingly unimportant to the observer.

My little pony goes to the movies

Apr 3, 2009

These are just excellent, my favourites have to be the edward scissor hands and the storm trooper :o)

My Little Pony goes to the Movies


Sundays (there is one every week)

Mar 16, 2009

Haven’t quite got used to the new SKY1 schedule of Lost on a Sunday and 24 on a Monday, I always expect 24 to be on a Sunday instead – but this week I was prepared.

I sat on the sofa, armed with crisps and drink, ready and waiting…… and then…… nothing. No Lost! I have no idea why but apparently it was skipping a week but would be on as normal next Sunday. They are obviously just trying to mess up my head even further, especially when combined with last weekโ€™s double-bill of 24 on Monday, I don’t know whether I am coming or going!

Oh well, I still ate my crisps so that counts for something ๐Ÿ™‚

Incidentally they were lovely crisps: Walkers Sensations – Southern Style Barbecue

sensations - southern style barbecue

sensations - southern style barbecue

So instead, I took the opportunity to catch up on the Buffys (Buffies?) that have been piling up since series linking on FX. Currently showing the final series which has its moments, Spike is back as a main character which is always good, there is a house full of potentials (which can be mainly annoying) and Andrew is back and tied to a chair.

So all in all not a totally wasted night.
– No Lost ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
+ Crisps ๐Ÿ™‚
+ Buffy ๐Ÿ™‚


Time Loop

Feb 13, 2009

Imagine you have travelled back around a hundred years and stopped a gentleman on the street in a large town or a city.

“Excuse me Sir, do you have the time”, you ask.

He would most probably have reached into his pocket and pulled out his fob watch on a chain.

Fast forward to around 10-20 years ago and they would have looked at their wrist watch.

Now fast forward back to present day, you are walking through that same town or city and need to know the time so you stop and ask anyone under the age of, ooh say 40.ย  The chances are that they will no longer look at their wrist but, just like that olden day gentleman, reach into their pocket and look at their modern digital timepiece – their mobile phone.

The olden day gentleman may well have had some sort of charm attached to his fob watch on his chain, perhaps a lucky rabbits foot or a small gold or silver pixie, etc. The modern counterpart could well have a similar equivalent attached to their phone dangling away, getting caught up in their pocket, maybe a pokemon, a tigger, pooh or piglet, or some sort of flashing device that they cannot see in their pocket when their phone rings.

Funny how things turn full circle with a modern twist ๐Ÿ˜€